My memory splits as I recall April. It splits into the splitting pain and disorientation of a week-long migraine, the surreal commute to the emergency room. The persistence of my pulse on the monitor while I’m poked and prodded from all angles as my vision tunnels, isolating me into a spiral of vertigo. Vacancy hums, a monologue. A tendril coiling into itself over and over. It could be infinite. It could be an inch. This is the first strand of April.

The second strand of April finds me in the nave of the church at 9pm. It’s humming too, although not vacant. Darkness cradles me until, wick by wick, the cavern and its inhabitants are illuminated. My head is still and so is my mind in the wake of this amber glow. Alleluia, the Lord is risen. Alleluia, the Lord is risen. Alleluia, the Lord is risen, and I waver from the mercy of it all.

Books

• These Precious Days: Essays by Ann Patchett (2021)

• All the Little Live Things by Wallace Stegner (1967)

And so even in the gnashing of my teeth, I acknowledge my conversion… I shall be richer all my life for this sorrow.

• Prayer in the Night: For Those Who Work or Watch or Weep by Tish Harrison Warren (2021)

• Serious Concerns by Wendy Cope (1992)

I did not anticipate the humor found in this collection! It tickled me endlessly. To understand what I mean, you have to give “The Uncertainty of the Poet” a read.

Other notable reads

• The Anthropocene Reviewed: Essays on a Human-Centered Planet by John Green (2021)

• Evangelical Anxiety: A Memoir by Charles Marsh (2022)

• A reread of an abridged version of Revelations of Divine Love by Julian of Norwich (1393)

Albums

• SABLE, fABLE by Bon Iver (2025)

• Jellywish by Florist (2025)

• Goodnight Summerland by Helena Deland (2023)

This album has kept me company in the early hours of spring, in times of airiness and within the throes of chronic illness.

Writing updates

I am so touched and grateful to share that my poem “Manual Labor” was published this month by Reformed Journal, along with a short podcast interview with Rose Postma!

Podcast Episode

Other delights

• Eastertide

As marked by a family member’s baptism, feasting, and flora!